It's Nice to Be Nice

So, a weird thing happened today on my run. I actually made an effort to talk to another runner.

What have I become? Seriously?!! I hate people. They're the worst.

But let's back up to last night where this nicey niceness all started. My neighbor mommy friend invited me to a book club. Now, this woman is probably the nicest woman you've met, and if she hadn't made a huge effort to befriend me, I'd still be pining away for the East side and the Winco on 82nd and the wonderful mall shopping at the Crack in Your Ass Town Centre, but I digress.

So I'm at the book club meeting (I brought my own list of books I wanted to read. That's how I roll.) and I get to meet the old owner of my house. Now first of all, that's weird but cool at the same time. But get this! She's totally my type of people--meaning: smart, funny, bookish, SHE RUNS, and she even said....[wait for it] "that sucks ass." I had to hold myself back from giving her a bone-crushing hug.

Case closed. I will stalk her and make her be my running partner and new best friend. I've been so starved for real personality over here (not that the neighbor lady doesn't have a personality, but there's no eff bombs coming from that side of the street, if you catch my drift) . So there's my first new friend. And a postscript: she emailed me today to see if I wanted to run this afternoon. Alas, I had already run. I had that feeling like when you're in college and you're totally drunk and you give your number to a cute guy and he calls and you see him again and he's still cute and actually nice. Actually, that's never happened to me, but if I had to imagine, that's what it would feel like.

Rack it.

So then, today, I went for a hood run and down at the OES track was a woman running with a stroller. I cruise up behind her, say hello and then proceed to run and talk with the woman for a mile! Isn't that the most bizarre thing ever? I talked to someone and ran with them and then I got her email information for future runs. She's an urban planner even. I've never met one of those!

So there you have it. The nasty old nag is trying to make friends. Is it because I'm getting older? Is it because I've got the kids? Who knows, but it might not be so bad. Total disclaimer: this doesn't mean I still don't hate people, especially stupid little bitches that run in an all pink outfit with a pink iPod and a pink VISOR. Like, a GOLF VISOR. Ew.

Until tomorrow when Shaunmarie and I attempt my first long run in many moons. Six to eight up on Germantown. Also, dying to see Kara Goucher pull out the 10,000m win tonight. Good times(TM).

I Think I Have Shit

That is perhaps the best Run Report title of all time, and I've had some good ones. By this I mean, I think I have mentally moved past the "injuries." I decided that I'm just going to run every day unless I feel like I really need to take a day off, or work prohibits me from running. The legs aren't 100% but I think taking too many days off is hurting rather than helping. So I'm going to run, baby, run!

So:

• Ran 4.5 miles today in the hood. After several hours of overcast, gorgeous, perfect running weather, the sun came out just as I got going. Remember my one Run Report titled: "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes?" Right. Legs felt good. Nothing funny happened.
• Yesterday (Wednesday)...rest day. Was planning to run. The day got away from me.
• Tuesday: ran with Shaunmarie on an actual trail at Tryon Creek Park. Elf and I usually ran on the asphalt path, not an actual dirt trail. The hills were huge and we walked a lot. Better than nothing, that's what I say.
• Monday: ran on the trail at Forest Park. Felt fucking fantastic. Burned up the first portion of the run and felt strong throughout.

Plan on running tomorrow and will try for a LONG RUN on Saturday. For sure. That means six or seven miles. Nothing crazy, but it will be epic.

So, not sure you all know this, but the baby had undescended testicles, and I love posting pictures of the scars of testicle surgery. The men seem to really love it. They attach those suckers with buttons. I shit you not:

Behold....NSFW...

OUCH!

"I Feel Like Bacon"

I told Shaunmarie and Jeffy last Sunday that it was time for me to shit or get off the pot with this whole "injury" thing. So either I make an effort through PT, self-massage, cross training, etc. or I just run through the pain and shut the hell up. I mean, I'm used to beating myself up but this is enough already.

The aforementioned running duo and I did a little Esplanade route on Sunday morning with an little Broadway Bridge tacked on. Legs? Ok, but felt like I was running in deep sand.

Monday I ran in the hood for about 44 minutes, and felt so good about my legs and no hurting that I almost uttered the words "I'm cured!" But even though I didn't say them, I thought them and that's fucking good enough for the Gods (we're watching Rome. Whew, there was a lot of violence and sex back then. A lot of knives right through the ol' throat. That's my kind of living!).

Tuesday I took off. Wednesday I ran in Forest Park and had the nagging hamstring pain that threatened to explode so I only ran about 30 minutes. I was proud of myself to listen to the pain.
Thursday I took off, even though I didn't want to.

Today, Friday, I went running at 1:00pm. I must think I'm some sort of badass to run a non-shaded route on asphalt in the middle of the day. I was baking. I'd forgotten how heat just drains a person of energy. I blame it on the documentary I watched two weeks ago--Running on the Sun...all about the Badwater 135 mile run through Death Valley that ascends a mere 8000 feet. Those people are nutty. Seriously, running in 116 degrees without sleep for 28 hours? Holy crap. I guess I figured I could tackle good ol PDX in 75 degrees in June. PDX 1, Me 0.

So halfway through as I'm running around the BLACK track (don't you love the smell and feel of a track that's been baking in the sun? I could lay down and just take a big ol' whiff of that smell, I love it so bad). I said to myself: "I feel like bacon."

Then I had to do a whole deconstruction of it...how I was like bacon (getting fried...usually has a lot of fat around the edges that some people like and some people burn off) and how I wasn't like bacon (it's a great tasting food and I'm pretty bitter when bitten into), you know the usual heat addled stuff.

So I cut the run short and headed home. Took the baby to the doctor--bronchitis. Sweet!

Do the Hippy Shake Shake

Instead of going for a run with the girl I don't know, I decided to treat myself and my friend Renee to massages. It's her birthday and I want my legs back to normal. I had a "deep tissue" or "sports massage." They should just take the word 'massage' out of this description and maybe call it a treatment or something. Because it was not relaxing, hurt a whole lot and really showed me how fucked up my muscles are. Speaking of...

Let me introduce you to...

The Quadratus Lumborum. Little did I know about this strange muscle, but it is responsible for hip motion and it can definitely bring the hip out of alignment which causes a tight IT band, tight quads, tight hamstrings and a resulting runner's knee. I have never had anyone touch or try to massage this area. So imagine my surprise when I almost flew off the table when my cute little masseuse touched it. Ouch. It also causes lower back pain.

In fact, thank all the muscles around the hip, because they're all responsible: the pirformis, the psoas, the gluteus minimus andthe tensor fascia latae. Fuck all you bitches.


By the time I'm running 10 miles I may also have a degree in anatomy. I do still have some pain in my knee, but I am not giving up on this self treatment. My little Elf wants me to go to PT but I'm going to wait and see what happens after I drink water (gasp! what a fucking concept! give water to the muscles and maybe they'll feel better. I'm retarded) and stretch (another foreign concept! agh!).

I'm on the road to recovery, friends.

Cutest babies ever(TM)

RUN LNG

Today I ran. I ran in Forest Park for the second consecutive day. I've identified the cause of my running depression--injuries. The runner's knee is bad...kneecap hurts most of the day and especially when walking down stairs or running after Owen in a nursery environment. The back of the knee also hurts which prohibits me from sitting Indian-style (Ben, is that un-PC? I'm serious. Let me know) or kneeling, which is not good when dealing with two munchins. I've also developed some slight hamstring pain in both legs.

So during the first half of yesterday's run I held myself a pity party, and surprisingly enough, no one attended. Last night I got serious with my trigger point therapy and am happy to report a decrease in pain, although it is still there. My inability to reach running nirvana is depressing, but I can't just wallow in it anymore.

The biggest problem is that I want to go for long distances and go over 10 miles. That's when I feel the greatest sense of accomplishment and endorphins. These piddly 35 to 40 minute JOGS drive me batty sometimes.

So.

I am running through the pain. I will get a massage and continue strenuous trigger point therapy (the shit is for real, yo. I'm not kidding.) for my back, legs and knee. I will take control of my own running destiny (cue the Rocky music please).

After I churned out my (slow) run on the trail today, I was driving home and the license plate on the car in front of me read: RUN LNG. And I thought, "Ok, you bastard. I will run long. And I will like it."

Random notes:

• Today is day one of operation bathing suit. Why didn't I start yesterday? Well, because I had to bake chocolate chip cookies to take over to the new neighbor to welcome her and also tell her the fucking German Shepherd that has been visiting her had taken TWO shits on my front lawn. Nice.
• Tomorrow I am running with a person I DON'T EVEN KNOW. She is a friend of my neighbor mommy friend. Get this: she's shorter than me. Totally. She will kick my ass on the trail, but you know what? I don't even care!
• I am taking the boys to the East Coast for one month this summer and I'm already having nightmares about the flight.
  
• I read a great running book: Strides by Benjamin Cheever. Very cute. I'm also re-reading Once a Runner...trying to get my groove back, you know.