Well, my ONLY long-run running partner stepped up to the plate on Saturday. Shaunmarie and I set out on Saturday to run the long OMSI/Springwater Corridor/Westside Esplanade route. I think it's probably about 9 miles. She and Roger the poodle met me at OMSI.
The wind was nuts. It almost blew off my hat and I looked over at SM one time and she had tears streaming down her face. We both complained for about six minutes about hating the run and I actually questioned whether or not I would be able to finish. At the first mile marker I hit my watch to see how fast we were going. A half mile later I checked our time: 4:40. So I did some quick math and calculated that we were running about a 9:20 mile heading INTO the wind, so I told speed racer to knock it off and slow it down.
I was very nervous about running over the Sellwood Bridge. I totally refuse to drive over it. If I HAVE to drive over it, I make sure my window is down should the bridge collapse and I need to swim out the window. Before the run, Michael and I reviewed my plan if the bridge did collapse. I asked him if I should dive or go feet first. He seemed to think I was a goner either way, so it didn't matter. I decided to go in feet first and deal with the broken legs.
We made it over the bridge safe and sound. I was not happy that I couldn't see the Hawthorne Bridge, which made me realize how far we were from finishing. I had never run on the Westside trail, so that was good for me. It got pretty ugly and industrial over by the new stuff on the waterfront, but by that time, I didn't care because we were almost done.
As we were running over the Hawthorne, we saw a spraypainted message: "You are cool." I smiled a little. Then about three minutes later another message: "You are still cool." Damn right! SM and I finished in about an hour and twenty five minutes. The road was tough on my legs and feet but I felt great just the same. And the endorphins made me stupid again as I went the wrong way to get home.
I also ran yesterday and was pretty scared by the wind in the trees up at the trail. But I put in a good 35 minutes. Friday we're going to PA and I MUST run. In 20 degrees. Good times(TM).
And so help me God, I will put together a running group for 2008.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
Most Boring Run Report Ever(TM)
Ugh. The Ellefson-Lupo's have called me out on not updating the blog. I've been running pretty consistently but have been beating myself up about not being fast enough or not going long enough so I had to have an intervention with Michael last night. I am a bit high strung...no, it's true. I am...and I get really uptight right before vacations and long plane flights.
I have to realize that running for 35 minutes is not a bad thing. And that sometimes 35 minutes is all I can afford. One of my resolutions is to incorporate a day of speed running, do a long run every weekend and run the Shamrock, the Helvetia and hopefully the marathon.
Anyhoo, here are some highlights of my running since the last time we spoke:
Bath time!
I have to realize that running for 35 minutes is not a bad thing. And that sometimes 35 minutes is all I can afford. One of my resolutions is to incorporate a day of speed running, do a long run every weekend and run the Shamrock, the Helvetia and hopefully the marathon.
Anyhoo, here are some highlights of my running since the last time we spoke:
- Still hating dogs on the trail.
- Running in my neighborhood, I came up on a woman and her yellow lab. The one time I don't give a dog a wide berth (I mean, it's a yellow lab for chrissakes) it tries to bite my leg off. The funny part? After the dog tries to eat me, the woman says "Oh, she's nice!" Whatever.
- During one of my longer runs, I timed a mile to see what I could do, and I'm happy to toot my own horn: 9 minutes 14 seconds. I thought I had been running 12 minute miles (not that there's anything wrong with that), so that was a good feeling.
- I've busted out the hot pink Under Armour. That shit keeps you warm.
- Went running on the trail a day after the massive storm and was amazed at the damage. One week later? All fixed. I love that place and am giving money to Friends of Forest Park.
- I've mastered the snot rocket.
- Finally, I've managed to get down the 120's, which is huge for me. Only 16 more pounds to go people!
Bath time!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Oh, calamity! Is there noooo way out?!
Because no one has stepped up to be my running partner (except Shaunmarie) I've had to bite the bullet and prepare for solo long runs. On Saturday I decided I would skip running my safe little loop and branch out.
So I have this little box of maps for runs/hikes in Forest Park. They're lovely little brochures with runs on virtually every part of the Wildwood trail and other little trails. I went through them looking for one that was 8 or more miles. The one I found was titled: Old Growth and was 8.75 miles. I wrote down the route, paying particular attention to the end where it said: "This part can be confusing....yadda yadda yadda." I folded my little piece of paper and put it in my short's pocket.
Foreshadowing alert: I put the little brochure on the kitchen table and said to Michael: "If I don't come back, this is where I went."
Leg #1: Saltzman to Wildwood to Maple (4.2 miles)
The run starts on Saltzman road. This is pretty familiar territory as Coach and I have started some runs at this point. It's a nice one-mile down hill run to the Wildwood Trail. The weather was kind of weird...foggy but sunny, dry but very wet. I passed some people and almost kicked another dog. I'm really beginning to hate people and their dogs.
I made it to the Wildwood trail sign and had to do some quick thinking/math to decide which way to run on the trail.
And I'm off! This part of the run is S.W.E.E.T. It's virgin territory, it's mostly downhill, it's soft on my legs and I'm feeling the adrenlain from taking a risk (shut up, this was huge for a directionally-challenged, perpetually-frightened-of-bob-cats-person). At one point I thought I heard a mountain lion and sprinted until I passed three people going the other way and thought the lion would eat them instead.
I soon discovered the old growth trees. And, I'm not one to be awed by nature, but I was pretty impressed by these trees. Not only were they huge around, but tall and some were right on the trail. Gigantic trees. In my stupor I missed the sign for the Maple Trail. I have to turn around and find it. The sign was in a stupid spot. Dummies. Extra mileage: negligible.
Leg #2 Maple to Leif to Saltzman (supposedly 4.5 miles )
So I start going down the Maple trail, and it's just a small trail covered with leaves, very narrow and a little dangerous in some areas. This is when I began to feel a little Blair Witch about this whole thing. But I sucked it up and kept going until I got to Leif Erickson.
Let me say again: I hate Leif Erickson. The rocks that make up the asphalt rock pavement suck ass. Who wants to run and constantly feel rocks poking and hurting their feet? GOD. However, I was pleased to see that up at mile 5 or so the trail is deserted. I do the two miles on Leif and the IT bands are barking.
But no worries, because once I hit the clearing in 2 miles, it's only a mile or so back to the car! SWEET! As I'm running I realized this would be a great place to dispose of a body or kill someone. I quickly made a note to buy some mace. For the bobcats and serial killers. And the weird biker that snuck up behind me and then quick passed me and then passed me going the other way in about four minutes. TOTALLY FREAKY.
So I finally got to the clearing, pulled out my directions and read them very carefully. The clearing had picnic tables and there was a couple standing on top of one. I tell them I'm checking my directions and they say: "So are we." So, I am a little rushed at this point because I want to appear like I know what I'm doing. EVEN THOUGH I WILL NEVER SEE THESE A-HOLES AGAIN, I FEEL THE NEED TO RUSH OFF LIKE A BIG RUNNER GIRL WHO KNOWS WHERE SHE'S GOING. And even though on either side of Leif Erickson, from whense I came, are signs that say "to Saltzman road." Can endorphins make you stupid?
Good times(tm).
I ignored both signs for Saltzman road and headed down this weird trail (first hint) , and all of a sudden, there's a fork in the road. That's right, I could go right or left. But my directions say that I'm to take a left on Saltzman Road. Weird. I didn't want to risk it, so I ran back to the clearing. Extra mileage: one quarter mile.
Unfortunately the cool couple I wanted to impress had already left and I was alone in the clearing. I read the directions again. Basically it says this: "gradual left, steep downhill to right, left on Saltzman." Hmmm. I began to panic. If I didn't find the way I'd have to retrace my steps and run an extra 7+ miles. I almost cry and definitely felt a bit Texas Chainsaw Massacre about the whole thing, but then I saw the "gradual left with sharp downhill to the right" from my directions! Hallelujah! Off I went with a spring in my (shuffling) step.
In about three minutes I came up on a white mile marker, just like the ones that are on Leif Erickson! Weird, I thought. But I'm sure Saltzman road is just right up here, I'll take a left and boom. I'm in the car drinking my so refreshing gatorade. A whole quart of lemony limey goodness. So I kept running. I hit another mile marker...same kind as before, white and resembling those on Leif. Hmmm. I started getting a little suspicious, especially when I hit on Firelane 5. But I kept going.
Until finally I realized that I went the wrong way again, and now...extra mileage: probably 1.0 miles. I ran back to the clearing, with permission to walk as necessary. Standing there I realized there is but one more way to go...up the road that has a sign that says "To Saltzman Road." And wouldn't you know it, down the road came a runner lady who steered me in the right direction up the most clearly marked and obvious route possible.
Then I ran and walked another mile and a half back to my the truck. And sprinted the last 100 yards and hugged the truck. And chugged the Gatorade. And called Michael. He was almost concerned, but happy because he had put away the little brochure without looking at it and had no idea where I was. When I got home and read the brochure again, the directions were very clear: do not go down the gradual left with the steep right downhill, that is Leif Erickson.
I wrote down what not to do.
Holy cow, are these good times(tm) or what?
So I have this little box of maps for runs/hikes in Forest Park. They're lovely little brochures with runs on virtually every part of the Wildwood trail and other little trails. I went through them looking for one that was 8 or more miles. The one I found was titled: Old Growth and was 8.75 miles. I wrote down the route, paying particular attention to the end where it said: "This part can be confusing....yadda yadda yadda." I folded my little piece of paper and put it in my short's pocket.
Foreshadowing alert: I put the little brochure on the kitchen table and said to Michael: "If I don't come back, this is where I went."
Leg #1: Saltzman to Wildwood to Maple (4.2 miles)
The run starts on Saltzman road. This is pretty familiar territory as Coach and I have started some runs at this point. It's a nice one-mile down hill run to the Wildwood Trail. The weather was kind of weird...foggy but sunny, dry but very wet. I passed some people and almost kicked another dog. I'm really beginning to hate people and their dogs.
I made it to the Wildwood trail sign and had to do some quick thinking/math to decide which way to run on the trail.
And I'm off! This part of the run is S.W.E.E.T. It's virgin territory, it's mostly downhill, it's soft on my legs and I'm feeling the adrenlain from taking a risk (shut up, this was huge for a directionally-challenged, perpetually-frightened-of-bob-cats-person). At one point I thought I heard a mountain lion and sprinted until I passed three people going the other way and thought the lion would eat them instead.
I soon discovered the old growth trees. And, I'm not one to be awed by nature, but I was pretty impressed by these trees. Not only were they huge around, but tall and some were right on the trail. Gigantic trees. In my stupor I missed the sign for the Maple Trail. I have to turn around and find it. The sign was in a stupid spot. Dummies. Extra mileage: negligible.
Leg #2 Maple to Leif to Saltzman (supposedly 4.5 miles )
So I start going down the Maple trail, and it's just a small trail covered with leaves, very narrow and a little dangerous in some areas. This is when I began to feel a little Blair Witch about this whole thing. But I sucked it up and kept going until I got to Leif Erickson.
Let me say again: I hate Leif Erickson. The rocks that make up the asphalt rock pavement suck ass. Who wants to run and constantly feel rocks poking and hurting their feet? GOD. However, I was pleased to see that up at mile 5 or so the trail is deserted. I do the two miles on Leif and the IT bands are barking.
But no worries, because once I hit the clearing in 2 miles, it's only a mile or so back to the car! SWEET! As I'm running I realized this would be a great place to dispose of a body or kill someone. I quickly made a note to buy some mace. For the bobcats and serial killers. And the weird biker that snuck up behind me and then quick passed me and then passed me going the other way in about four minutes. TOTALLY FREAKY.
So I finally got to the clearing, pulled out my directions and read them very carefully. The clearing had picnic tables and there was a couple standing on top of one. I tell them I'm checking my directions and they say: "So are we." So, I am a little rushed at this point because I want to appear like I know what I'm doing. EVEN THOUGH I WILL NEVER SEE THESE A-HOLES AGAIN, I FEEL THE NEED TO RUSH OFF LIKE A BIG RUNNER GIRL WHO KNOWS WHERE SHE'S GOING. And even though on either side of Leif Erickson, from whense I came, are signs that say "to Saltzman road." Can endorphins make you stupid?
Good times(tm).
I ignored both signs for Saltzman road and headed down this weird trail (first hint) , and all of a sudden, there's a fork in the road. That's right, I could go right or left. But my directions say that I'm to take a left on Saltzman Road. Weird. I didn't want to risk it, so I ran back to the clearing. Extra mileage: one quarter mile.
Unfortunately the cool couple I wanted to impress had already left and I was alone in the clearing. I read the directions again. Basically it says this: "gradual left, steep downhill to right, left on Saltzman." Hmmm. I began to panic. If I didn't find the way I'd have to retrace my steps and run an extra 7+ miles. I almost cry and definitely felt a bit Texas Chainsaw Massacre about the whole thing, but then I saw the "gradual left with sharp downhill to the right" from my directions! Hallelujah! Off I went with a spring in my (shuffling) step.
In about three minutes I came up on a white mile marker, just like the ones that are on Leif Erickson! Weird, I thought. But I'm sure Saltzman road is just right up here, I'll take a left and boom. I'm in the car drinking my so refreshing gatorade. A whole quart of lemony limey goodness. So I kept running. I hit another mile marker...same kind as before, white and resembling those on Leif. Hmmm. I started getting a little suspicious, especially when I hit on Firelane 5. But I kept going.
Until finally I realized that I went the wrong way again, and now...extra mileage: probably 1.0 miles. I ran back to the clearing, with permission to walk as necessary. Standing there I realized there is but one more way to go...up the road that has a sign that says "To Saltzman Road." And wouldn't you know it, down the road came a runner lady who steered me in the right direction up the most clearly marked and obvious route possible.
Then I ran and walked another mile and a half back to my the truck. And sprinted the last 100 yards and hugged the truck. And chugged the Gatorade. And called Michael. He was almost concerned, but happy because he had put away the little brochure without looking at it and had no idea where I was. When I got home and read the brochure again, the directions were very clear: do not go down the gradual left with the steep right downhill, that is Leif Erickson.
I wrote down what not to do.
Holy cow, are these good times(tm) or what?
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Bringing Back the Hate
Get ready people, I am ready to hate and hate and hate today. I'm not used to the monthly occurance that hits most women, so I'm going to chalk about 22% of the attitude to my period and the rest to fucking idiots. For real.
Elf was here over the weekend with Frank and the darling baby Mattie who a) is seriously cute as a button, b) can practically say as many words as the O-man (not that I'm comparing) and c) says woof woof to the dogs. I tried to coax Elf back to Portland by taking her on a run up at Forest Park with Coach. Although it didn't work, I could tell she had forgotten how beautiful it is up there and I know that when the time comes, Portland is going to be the frontrunner for the new home city of choice.
Not much to say about that run except I was the lead runner, which is not a good position for me. Whenever I hear pounding feet behind me, I speed up. Needless to say I couldn't talk the entire run and we ended up finishing with a time that was 1 minute and 30 seconds faster than I normally run that mofo. Crazy right? Especially because again, this was my "recovery" run from my long run the day before, and it wasn't very recovery-y or easy.
[quick tangent: did anyone watch the Nova special Marathon Challenge? Nova formed a team of 13 non-runners who barely exercised and then helped them train for and complete the Boston Marathon (although I wasn't onboard with non-qualifiers getting to run that race, i got over it). Needless to say, I learned a lot. Namely that weight loss is not about exercise at all. It's about diet first and foremost. You all may know this, but I really thought that training for a marathon would help the women drop some pounds. MOST LOST NO WEIGHT! Crazy, right? The doctor did say that running was good for weight maintenance. Anyhoo, I digress. It was a great show and I totally cried when they all finished.]
So, in my never ending quest to keep losing weight (I hit the 20 pounds loss mark yesterday hoorah!), I've decided to step up the diet and the exercise because I'm going home to PA for Christmas and if I don't hear some oohing and ahhing about my weight loss, skulls will be cracking. Yesterday I ran for 49 minutes and two things happened that pissed me off.
1) A pack of dogs circled me like I was a fucking rabbit they wanted to eat. The three women were so busy talking about stupid West-side stuff they didn't notice their Chocolate lab sniffing my ass or the yappy rat dog jumping on my leg. I was PISSED but of course stuffed it deep into my belly instead of screaming at them.
2) Coming up behind two geezers, I said "excuse me" and "pardon me" about five times with zero response. Finally I just had to blow by them because I assumed they heard me even though they didn't stop or move over. Here's the thing: stop for three fucking seconds so I KNOW you've heard me and I can go by without hurting anyone. Or turn around to see who the bitch is that wants to pass you. But PLEASE! Acknowledge that I have said something to you before I haul off and kick you in the shins with my stylish trail shoes.
My next hate-filled diatribe has to do with Halloween. I like Halloween as much as the next guy. But there are rules, and if, as a parent you ignore these rules, I can egg and toilet paper your house the next day. Here they are:
And no, my two children under the age of 2 will not be trick or treating and collecting candy for god's sake! Because this is the attitude of the O-man during the entire Halloween day:
Elf was here over the weekend with Frank and the darling baby Mattie who a) is seriously cute as a button, b) can practically say as many words as the O-man (not that I'm comparing) and c) says woof woof to the dogs. I tried to coax Elf back to Portland by taking her on a run up at Forest Park with Coach. Although it didn't work, I could tell she had forgotten how beautiful it is up there and I know that when the time comes, Portland is going to be the frontrunner for the new home city of choice.
Not much to say about that run except I was the lead runner, which is not a good position for me. Whenever I hear pounding feet behind me, I speed up. Needless to say I couldn't talk the entire run and we ended up finishing with a time that was 1 minute and 30 seconds faster than I normally run that mofo. Crazy right? Especially because again, this was my "recovery" run from my long run the day before, and it wasn't very recovery-y or easy.
[quick tangent: did anyone watch the Nova special Marathon Challenge? Nova formed a team of 13 non-runners who barely exercised and then helped them train for and complete the Boston Marathon (although I wasn't onboard with non-qualifiers getting to run that race, i got over it). Needless to say, I learned a lot. Namely that weight loss is not about exercise at all. It's about diet first and foremost. You all may know this, but I really thought that training for a marathon would help the women drop some pounds. MOST LOST NO WEIGHT! Crazy, right? The doctor did say that running was good for weight maintenance. Anyhoo, I digress. It was a great show and I totally cried when they all finished.]
So, in my never ending quest to keep losing weight (I hit the 20 pounds loss mark yesterday hoorah!), I've decided to step up the diet and the exercise because I'm going home to PA for Christmas and if I don't hear some oohing and ahhing about my weight loss, skulls will be cracking. Yesterday I ran for 49 minutes and two things happened that pissed me off.
1) A pack of dogs circled me like I was a fucking rabbit they wanted to eat. The three women were so busy talking about stupid West-side stuff they didn't notice their Chocolate lab sniffing my ass or the yappy rat dog jumping on my leg. I was PISSED but of course stuffed it deep into my belly instead of screaming at them.
2) Coming up behind two geezers, I said "excuse me" and "pardon me" about five times with zero response. Finally I just had to blow by them because I assumed they heard me even though they didn't stop or move over. Here's the thing: stop for three fucking seconds so I KNOW you've heard me and I can go by without hurting anyone. Or turn around to see who the bitch is that wants to pass you. But PLEASE! Acknowledge that I have said something to you before I haul off and kick you in the shins with my stylish trail shoes.
My next hate-filled diatribe has to do with Halloween. I like Halloween as much as the next guy. But there are rules, and if, as a parent you ignore these rules, I can egg and toilet paper your house the next day. Here they are:
- Lights off inside and outside means NO CANDY WILL BE GIVEN AWAY FROM THIS HOUSE. PLEASE GO AWAY.
- If the lights are off, do not let your kiddies traipse up to my door, ring the doorbell, aggravate the dogs who bark so loud that they wake both my babies who have been sleeping for over an hour.
- If there is a sign on the door that reads: "Please do not ring or knock the door. Two babies are sleeping...dogs will bark and wake them. Sorry!" PLEASE DO NOT RING OR KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
And no, my two children under the age of 2 will not be trick or treating and collecting candy for god's sake! Because this is the attitude of the O-man during the entire Halloween day:
Although the baby didn't seem to mind as much:
The end. Whew. Thank you so much. I feel much better now.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Three Little Birds
So what's a runner to do when it's 70 degrees and sunny at the end of October? You guessed it. Run the Esplanade.
I chose this route for yesterday's run because I wanted to soak up some sun and get some good run report material.
Check and check.
First, I realized I'm overdoing it a bit on the weekends. On Saturday (during a sunbreak that included a lot of rain), I ran about six miles in an hour or so. Then Sunday I ran with Coach and the Schlickster for about 45 minutes. Now, the run after the long run is typically a recovery run. But Coach must not have heard that. Trying to keep up with his stride makes it virtually impossible to keep the run nice and easy. (Coach's favorite comment from past "easy" runs: "It's easy for me!")
Anyhoo! My tired legs (even with a day off) started at Via and continued downtown and the first incident occurred right before the Steel Bridge. Two novice cyclists (sans helmets and riding cruisers [I think that streamers off the handlebars would have been appropriate for these two asses]) come up behind me. The man passes me on my left, the woman passes me on the right. Already I think to myself "FUCKING idiots!" But lo and behold they surpass even that label when they come together right in front of me and STOP to talk!!!! Now I am not about to stop because I'm dying, so I run between them and say "Are you really going to stop right there? GAWD!" and continue on.
Of course they pass me in about ten seconds and I was DYING for a comment. Just dying for one because I was ready to roll some skulls. But they must have realized they were idiots because they kept their mouths shut. Damn it.
The next incident occurred in the Pearl District on about 11th or 12th. Now, I'm not sure if you all know this, but pedestrians who are standing on a corner get the right of way and cars SHOULD stop. I hate shoulding people, but it is the law (I think. I'm pretty sure.), and I'm dying for a car to hit me so I can sue some asses.
I stop at a corner and watch a car slow down and beep at a woman who looked like she was going to cross in front of the car. The car is going five miles an hour. I see the window is open and decide to take the opportunity to educate these stupid coolies in a hoop-di (hoopdy? hoop-dy?). I say to them: "You have to stop for pedestrians." And before I could even finish my sentence, I'm greeted with two huge birds out both car windows! Pleased with myself, I in turn flip them the bird! And all was well with the world, because my adrenalin surged and I could finish the run on a good note.
God, running downtown is good times. Even though I can't snot rocket, I love interacting with the peeps. Run on the trail today.
I chose this route for yesterday's run because I wanted to soak up some sun and get some good run report material.
Check and check.
First, I realized I'm overdoing it a bit on the weekends. On Saturday (during a sunbreak that included a lot of rain), I ran about six miles in an hour or so. Then Sunday I ran with Coach and the Schlickster for about 45 minutes. Now, the run after the long run is typically a recovery run. But Coach must not have heard that. Trying to keep up with his stride makes it virtually impossible to keep the run nice and easy. (Coach's favorite comment from past "easy" runs: "It's easy for me!")
Anyhoo! My tired legs (even with a day off) started at Via and continued downtown and the first incident occurred right before the Steel Bridge. Two novice cyclists (sans helmets and riding cruisers [I think that streamers off the handlebars would have been appropriate for these two asses]) come up behind me. The man passes me on my left, the woman passes me on the right. Already I think to myself "FUCKING idiots!" But lo and behold they surpass even that label when they come together right in front of me and STOP to talk!!!! Now I am not about to stop because I'm dying, so I run between them and say "Are you really going to stop right there? GAWD!" and continue on.
Of course they pass me in about ten seconds and I was DYING for a comment. Just dying for one because I was ready to roll some skulls. But they must have realized they were idiots because they kept their mouths shut. Damn it.
The next incident occurred in the Pearl District on about 11th or 12th. Now, I'm not sure if you all know this, but pedestrians who are standing on a corner get the right of way and cars SHOULD stop. I hate shoulding people, but it is the law (I think. I'm pretty sure.), and I'm dying for a car to hit me so I can sue some asses.
I stop at a corner and watch a car slow down and beep at a woman who looked like she was going to cross in front of the car. The car is going five miles an hour. I see the window is open and decide to take the opportunity to educate these stupid coolies in a hoop-di (hoopdy? hoop-dy?). I say to them: "You have to stop for pedestrians." And before I could even finish my sentence, I'm greeted with two huge birds out both car windows! Pleased with myself, I in turn flip them the bird! And all was well with the world, because my adrenalin surged and I could finish the run on a good note.
God, running downtown is good times. Even though I can't snot rocket, I love interacting with the peeps. Run on the trail today.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I'll run in the rain til I'm breathless
Again, I've run way more than I post. And here's the quick reason. I don't hate running as I once did. Meaning, back in the day I hated the first five minutes when I was dying, I hated hills, I hated long runs, I hated everything, but I forced myself to do it. Now, I LOVE LOVE LOVE to run. And we all know that love is just not funny.
Anyhoo, today I ran in Forest Park in the rain. My little 35 minute loop dee loop. I ran across some other die hards and one tree-trimming crew...how much would that suck? My other rainy run was last week and it RAINED. I mean torrential downpours. It did die down as my run ended, but as soon as I came to the last set of hills, I thought to myself "This is it. Just these hills and you're done." And didn't the sky open up like a mother and dump three times as much water on my head? I actually laughed out loud. It was kind of like the hills saying, "Oh you like hills now? Well fuck you sister."
On Saturday I ran my favorite loop twice for a total of 1 hour and twelve minutes. It was tough because a) I had to do it by myself b) it was Saturday in Forest Park, lots of people lolligagging and letting their dogs run rampant and c) it was long. But I did it and felt so good that I actually got teary at the end. Seriously. Must have been the endorphins.
And some quick notes to wrap everything up:
- It's time for a smaller sports bra when you can hear a slapping noise over your own breathing and you can see your boobs in your peripheral vision.
- Blowing snot out of your nose is a million times better than snuffling for 35 minutes on a run.
- There is absolutely nothing like running in Forest Park. It is perhaps the best place to run on the entire planet.
- The David Cadiz method of running without stretching probably only works if you're an athlete who can qualify for the Boston Marathon.
And that is that. What you want a picture? Done!
E-A-G-L-E-S, Eagles!!!
(too bad I don't have a Penn State outfit, because they kicked the crap out of Benji's Badger's!)
Monday, September 24, 2007
For the Trees
So I had a long run planned on Saturday with Shaunmarie. I decided that I should probably run a little bit on Friday just to keep my legs "warm." I really didn't want to run but forced myself to drive up to the Zoo for a quick 25 minutes. At the first big hill, I came to a stop and said to myself "I can't." And out of the blue my teeny mind said "Can't or won't?"
Profound. I know. But that mantra powered me up the hills that a few short months ago I could only walk. And to make it even better, I ran the hills on the Fir trail too, which I NEVER do. I was very proud of myself. And I realized that earlier in the summer I said to Coach that when I can run all the hills including the hills on the Fir Trail, I'll know I'm back as a runner.
Seriously. I'm back!
My pride still didn't help my nerves on Saturday morning. I felt naseous about my first real long run. As in a one hour run. Plus, I'm running with Shaunmarie--a skinny gazelle. So I got to the Germantown Road trailhead and after five minutes of trying to fit my car into a parking space, stalling the car about three times, getting the car stuck and finally parking on the other side of the road, greeted Shaunmarie with a hug because I know she hates that.
So we started running. I made her talk for the dreaded first ten minutes that I hate so bad. After that, I felt pretty good and we made it to the first rest stop in 23 minutes. Not bad at all!
We ran out for about seven more minutes then came back. Total run time 60 minutes. Total run length, probably about 6 or 6.5. It was seriously probably one of the best runs ever.
Good times(TM)
Profound. I know. But that mantra powered me up the hills that a few short months ago I could only walk. And to make it even better, I ran the hills on the Fir trail too, which I NEVER do. I was very proud of myself. And I realized that earlier in the summer I said to Coach that when I can run all the hills including the hills on the Fir Trail, I'll know I'm back as a runner.
Seriously. I'm back!
My pride still didn't help my nerves on Saturday morning. I felt naseous about my first real long run. As in a one hour run. Plus, I'm running with Shaunmarie--a skinny gazelle. So I got to the Germantown Road trailhead and after five minutes of trying to fit my car into a parking space, stalling the car about three times, getting the car stuck and finally parking on the other side of the road, greeted Shaunmarie with a hug because I know she hates that.
So we started running. I made her talk for the dreaded first ten minutes that I hate so bad. After that, I felt pretty good and we made it to the first rest stop in 23 minutes. Not bad at all!
We ran out for about seven more minutes then came back. Total run time 60 minutes. Total run length, probably about 6 or 6.5. It was seriously probably one of the best runs ever.
Good times(TM)
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Head's All Empty and I Don't Care
Well, in my defense, I've run way more times than these three measly posts. Usually in a given week I'll run four to five times and (unfortunately) take two to three days off. It's a pretty good system and I'm actually starting to see some results. Like, no more pants with stretchy panels.
Now, let's just get this nastiness out of the way. I'm embarrassed and saddened by my Eagles. It brought a tear last night to think that McNabb is starting a slow decline and could eventually be on another team before I'm out of my 30's. I love that guy and no matter what anyone says he turned the Eagles around from perennial losers to contenders every year. So I say go ahead! Pile on and say how bad he is...but I will never forget the Bobby Hoying and Rodney Peete era (and also, Rich Kotite and Marion Campbell? God almighty)
Anyhoo, back to running. Yesterday I hit Forest Park for a wonderful run on the nice soft trail. There's really nothing like the trail after a light rain. So I set out on my normal run--starting from the archery range--and felt pretty good. The entire Portland State cross country team was running the opposite direction. Needless to say they pissed me off and I contemplated writing a letter to the coach telling him/her that his runners need to run single file instead of forcing an old lady down into the ravine.
I've been trying to make my daily runs a bit longer (up to 40 minutes) so I decided to tack on some extra and take the Magnolia trail up around to the water tower and then retrace the first part of the run, but in a different direction. Coach and I had run this way last weekend, so I felt pretty good. Well, I must have been on drugs when I was running with Coach because I somehow forgot how big the mother effing hills are on this route. Whew! Got my ass kicked for real.
I also passed a lot of dummies with their dogs who don't have the common courtesy to pull their dogs closer to them as I pass. A lady with a weiner dog let her dog stand right in the middle of the trail. I seriously considered drop kicking it and then acting like it was an accident. But I was too tired to lift my leg that high.
So that's that. I plan on going again today and people, please. We need to start a running group! Maybe even on the weekends when more people are available. I am NOT fast and don't even pretend to be. I'm available for running all day Friday and anytime Saturday or Sunday.
And on the baby front, on Saturday we had our first sleep-through-the-night night. Twelve whole hours of sleep. It was amazing. And he's a chunky monkey and is almost out weighing his brother. And that, is the end. Missing you all.
Now, let's just get this nastiness out of the way. I'm embarrassed and saddened by my Eagles. It brought a tear last night to think that McNabb is starting a slow decline and could eventually be on another team before I'm out of my 30's. I love that guy and no matter what anyone says he turned the Eagles around from perennial losers to contenders every year. So I say go ahead! Pile on and say how bad he is...but I will never forget the Bobby Hoying and Rodney Peete era (and also, Rich Kotite and Marion Campbell? God almighty)
Anyhoo, back to running. Yesterday I hit Forest Park for a wonderful run on the nice soft trail. There's really nothing like the trail after a light rain. So I set out on my normal run--starting from the archery range--and felt pretty good. The entire Portland State cross country team was running the opposite direction. Needless to say they pissed me off and I contemplated writing a letter to the coach telling him/her that his runners need to run single file instead of forcing an old lady down into the ravine.
I've been trying to make my daily runs a bit longer (up to 40 minutes) so I decided to tack on some extra and take the Magnolia trail up around to the water tower and then retrace the first part of the run, but in a different direction. Coach and I had run this way last weekend, so I felt pretty good. Well, I must have been on drugs when I was running with Coach because I somehow forgot how big the mother effing hills are on this route. Whew! Got my ass kicked for real.
I also passed a lot of dummies with their dogs who don't have the common courtesy to pull their dogs closer to them as I pass. A lady with a weiner dog let her dog stand right in the middle of the trail. I seriously considered drop kicking it and then acting like it was an accident. But I was too tired to lift my leg that high.
So that's that. I plan on going again today and people, please. We need to start a running group! Maybe even on the weekends when more people are available. I am NOT fast and don't even pretend to be. I'm available for running all day Friday and anytime Saturday or Sunday.
And on the baby front, on Saturday we had our first sleep-through-the-night night. Twelve whole hours of sleep. It was amazing. And he's a chunky monkey and is almost out weighing his brother. And that, is the end. Missing you all.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Can't stomach it!
I have not run since last Sunday when Jeffy and I ran the Esplanade/Broadway Bridge run (run time: 45 minutes or so).
On Tuesday I came down with a "stomach flu" but without the usual shit (Hahahahaha)! Meaning, I didn't vomit and I didn't have the other stomach-flu symptoms either. Just pain, pain, pain in the belly and lower abdomen. I ran a fever and coached Michael through the nursing process.
Let me tell you, two babies plus one husband plus two dogs and a sick mommy means no fun for anyone. Thank god for goooooooooood friends (meet Renee--my hero). So all it took was one visit to the doctor, a prescription for Vicodin and no eating for three days and voila! Good as new....kinda. Still didn't eat much today.
So, no run today, but tomorrow and Sunday are looking good. Oh, and the biggest benefit of all? A 3.2 weight loss this week. Good times(TM).
Sunday, August 19, 2007
First (Semi) Long Run
Today Coach and I embarked on the first long run. I was totally ready and willing to log six miles. In retrospect, this might have been a bit ambitious.
We headed out in Coach's SWEET convertible BMW...which, by the way, I doubted he would fit in. We went out to 53rd off of Skyline, I think, and jumped onto the Wildwood Trail. I had regaled Coach with how wonderful running was for me now and how I had turned the corner, yadda yadda yadda. Suffice it to say: I should have known better.
We start running and we get to a little map. I tell Coach I want to run six miles. He tells me there's no way he's running six miles, but we can add a little bit and make it be around five or so. Great!
Totally not great. As soon as I realized we were going to have to run some of the route on Leif Erickson I wasn't happy. I have NO IDEA why every runner in Portland thinks this thing is the holy grail, but if you ask me, it sucks big time, and here's why:
We headed out in Coach's SWEET convertible BMW...which, by the way, I doubted he would fit in. We went out to 53rd off of Skyline, I think, and jumped onto the Wildwood Trail. I had regaled Coach with how wonderful running was for me now and how I had turned the corner, yadda yadda yadda. Suffice it to say: I should have known better.
We start running and we get to a little map. I tell Coach I want to run six miles. He tells me there's no way he's running six miles, but we can add a little bit and make it be around five or so. Great!
Totally not great. As soon as I realized we were going to have to run some of the route on Leif Erickson I wasn't happy. I have NO IDEA why every runner in Portland thinks this thing is the holy grail, but if you ask me, it sucks big time, and here's why:
- All uphill for the first three miles.
- Rocks embedded in the cement trail that kill the feet.
- On the way up you have to look at the people who are on the way back down who are sprinting like they're the fucking Great American Hero.
- It's like New Year's Eve or St. Patrick's Day. Amatuer night.
- People let their dogs shit everywhere.
And finally, there is no reason to run on a cambered "trail" with huge rocks that is mostly upwhill when there are so many trails (I mean the Wildwood is 30 miles!) in the city. God.
Anyhoo, we finally made it back to the Wildwood, only to deal with the biggest fucking hill I've ever seen. I'm totally not kidding. I told Coach I hated him three times. For real. As he's looking down on me from the top he says "It's all down hill from here!" Great, thanks asshole!
And that was today's run. It sucked. But I did it. And we drove home with the top down. Good times(TM). And, if you ever have any questions about any trail in Portland, Coach will know.
Miles/times this week:
Monday: Off
Tuesday: Forest Park (27 minutes/hills)
Wednesday: Esplanade (41 minutes/~four miles/flat)
Thursday: Off
Friday: Forest Park (27 minutes/hills)
Saturday: Esplanade (41 minutes/four miles/flat)
Sunday: 53rd (maybe five miles)
TOTAL: 19 miles give or take
Friday, August 17, 2007
Geezers and Bitches
It has been almost two months since my last (and first) run report. I am happy to report that even though the run reports have been few, that the runs have not! Here are some highlights of the last two months:
Passed by a Geezer
Yesterday I ran the Esplanade for the second time since my comeback. Last week when I braved the route for my first time, I had an awesome run. I came home and told Michael “I OWN the Esplanade.”
Yesterday, however, was a totally different story. Coming off the Hawthorne Bridge I passed an old man shuffling along. I stopped for a quick water break and soon caught up to said geezer and passed him. Geezer did not like being passed by a fatty like myself and increased his speed. Embarrassed and PISSED, I let him go. I have nothing to prove. I am post partum for god’s sake.
So, on the little downhills I caught up with him again but really didn’t have the energy to pick up the pace and really pass him, so I thought to myself “You can run with a geezer and make a new friend!” So I ran about three or four steps with him and was about to say hello, when he just took off leaving me in the dust.
Geezer bastard. Moral of the story: don’t try to be nice to anyone, ever. Even old people.
Passed by a Skinny Bitch
Today I ran the old Via Forest Park route, but started at the archery range. I wasn’t even in the woods yet when I hear someone running behind me. I, being a courteous runner, stepped off the trail. Still, I heard a female voice say “On your right!” I looked back and there, passing me, was a skinny bitch. And not an ordinary skinny bitch either. This girl was wearing cute running shorts and a tank top, which she had pulled up to expose a perfect, taut and tan belly. And to make matters worse, after she passed me, I had to watch the perfect ass for about four minutes. However, she was wearing perfume, which is retarded and not runner-like at all.
Complaining with O’Shea
So, Coach O’Shea and I have been running together again and it’s been great. I hated running in circles around a track, and at the beginning there, I wasn’t ready to run by myself (I have weird social phobias…shut up). Every Monday we run about 34 minutes and every Thursday we do Forest Park. For the first two or three runs, my end of the conversation went something like this: “My legs just won’t move!” and “Do you see how fat I am?” and “I can’t go further than two miles.” and “I can’t believe it hasn’t been easier.” And “I’M DYING.”
So, I am very happy to report that I have turned the corner on the whole returning to running after being pregnant for 18 out of the last 36 months. Every run I take I’m able to push myself a little further. Every run feels better when I’m done. And I look forward to all my runs now and no one has to kick my ass out the door anymore. And boy, am I glad!
When I quit smoking I knew that I would also have that craving—forever. Once a smoker, always a smoker. But thankfully I’ve also realized that now I am a runner and I will always be a runner, no matter how much time I take off between runs. Days, weeks or years. Ah, brings a tear doesn’t it?
So, looking for more people to add to our little running group. Everyone is welcome. I’m looking to be running mob deep again. Cheers!
p.s. tell me that baby isn’t cute
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