Monday, May 19, 2008

They Really Don't Melt in Your Hands

Sometimes I get sad because of the running. Or lack there of. When I think back to me in my running prime--before the babies, before the new house, before the freelancing life--I get a little misty. Running every day at lunch with peeps, either on the Esplanade or the trail and then getting up at the crack to do a little long run on Germantown Road where I had many adventures. Now, I'm still injured and have given up hope on the 1/2 marathon and even the full marathon. I am not in "race" mode. I am in survival mode.

My hamstring was sore for weeks. About 30 to 35 minutes into a run I'd have to call it quits because I refuse to ignore signals from my body anymore.

Tangent: Funny I should say that because sometimes it is important to ignore signals from your body. Like the ones it sends at 9:04 pm when you're watching Lost from the night before and the signals are all "hey, you should totally go eat that entire bag of miniature M&Ms that you said you bought for potty-training rewards. " And, when I say "bag" I don't mean an M&M's bag from the actual candy company. I mean a nice plastic grocery bag that you use when you're buying candy IN BULK from Winco. Oh yes, I did. The whole bag. Spread out over four nights, but yes, it is gone. The guilt was so bad that when I heard Michael coming up from the basement, I stuffed the whole bag in the couch cushions so he wouldn't know. So, in terms of potty training: I bought a potty. Got some pull up diapers. Bought some foaming hand soap and a ginormous bag of candy for treats. The candy is now gone and no one has gone pee pee in the potty.

Anyhoo, back to the leg issues. The hamstring was bad. As of today, it's finally better. No nagging pain. But the other problem is the runner's knee in the other leg. And that, my friends, is a pain in the rear end. Why? Like the IT band injury, runner's knee plays a sick, sick joke and only hurts when you're running down hill or walking downstairs. Isn't that hilarious?? Hahahahah! I love it! My book tells me that runner's knee happens when the quads are weak or full of muscle spasms.

So I realized today when I was running on my trail (after MONTHS of not running on it), that these are the reasons I've developed this injury:

1. Going out too hard after a long lay off
2. Running on hard streets with bad cambers (I think I made that word up, but I like it)
3. Running solely on flat, hard streets with bad cambers with no hills

When I was running regularly on the trail, replete with its many hills, my quads were strong. The IT band was a bitch, but no runner's knee for sure. So, back to the trail. Even though there are too many annoying people on the trail when it's nice like this. I'll take a muddy, goopy trail any day of the week, as long as I don't have to see another person.

Finally, let's talk about Ann Taylor, who is really a raving bitch. I went shopping because I have no summer clothes. Let's just say I was ecstatic to find I *thought* I was back to size fours. So ecstatic I gave myself permission to indulge in the M&Ms some more. Anyhoo, I got home and dug through the clothes that are banished to the storage room because they're too small. I mean, I have tons of fours in there, they must fit now, right? No way in hell. Because Ann Taylor has decided it's funny to size her clothes in such a way that women feel better about themselves. Then these women go home and get suicidal when old clothes that are the SAME size from the SAME store purchased two years ago don't fit worth a damn.

The end. I'm embarking on Operation Bathing suit for our trip downa shore coming up here in August. It's not fun or pretty. The end again.


Prepping for his trip to the land of pretzels.